I have been a slave for too long;
I have been living a life of servitude,
servitude toward my own emotions.
I let the shadows of doubt cloud my judgement,
I let twinge of betrayal take away all the trust I have,
I let the pain of the past destroy the precious memories of our love.
I take one step forward and two steps back:
I hesitate, afraid to make another step to face the future,
because for so long, despite us being together,
I have been so alone.
The mist tricked me; it made believe of what I thought I saw.
I believed in me, and it shattered me to the core,
with no one to piece me back together:
Everything that you thought I would be
is now falling apart right in front of you.
And every step that I take is another
mistake to you.
This has ruined me,
and no matter how much I try to piece myself together,
the scars remain visible to show how shattered I have been.
The frailty of soul has become visible,
the changes that transpire, the imminent separation,
the intimacy lost, the broken trust, the rifted friendship,
the regrets I try to bury, the silent screams I make at night,
the tears that are not coming, the fear of being alone—
they all haunt me in my sleep, in waking hours, in my imagination.
You know how I can be; I hate change.
And I swear to every gods that I do not believe in:
We were better back when only our ring fingers knew.
